It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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