gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
