Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
