Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
