i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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