So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
