miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
