Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
