her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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