I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just found puke in my bra..
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
