This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize