My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
