I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize