omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
