Christians are straight up FREAKS
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
