i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
