i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize
