apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
