dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
