ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
