i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
