What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
