Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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