After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
