Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She's the barista slut.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
