Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
