I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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