We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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