Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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