Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Found the puke drawer
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
