the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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