if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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