I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
