He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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