You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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