Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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