You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
