I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
