bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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