After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Randomize
