So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
