And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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