READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
