How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
