I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
