So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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