At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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