can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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