i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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