So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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