dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
