I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
