How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
