It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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