I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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