thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
