We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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