He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
