I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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