whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
