You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
this is an emotional support booty call
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
