best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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