Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We talked him into tasing himself.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
