i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize